The Best Thing(s) About Turning 40

Turning 40 was traumatic for me.  Actually, 39 was worse.   Although I found myself blessed beyond measure in many ways, there were tears, and doubts, and lots of internal questioning: 

• Who am I?  
• What do I really want to do with my life?
• How do I reconcile the past while simultaneously embracing the future? 

I really did experience some type of mid-life crisis at age 39.  People tried to be reassuring ("Oh, it's just a number," or "Aren't you a bit young to worry about this stuff?) and that type of thing, but for me, it was very real. 

I think it's only natural to evaluate where you are in life at certain points, but if you tend to over think and over analyze things like I do, that's not always good either.  Fortunately, I was able to find some meaning in many areas of my life, and this helps me to move forward.  While I in no way have it "all figured out," these are the things that I find to be true:

• You find out who truly supports you and has your back, and it's not always who you think.
• You forgive your parents (if you need to), knowing that they did the best they could with the knowledge and resources that they had to work with at the time.  If you want to go one step further, you can heal any wounds by parenting your own children the way you fully needed to be parented.
• You forgive your self (if you need to), know that you did the best you could with the knowledge and resources that you had to work with at the time.
• You forgive God (if you need to), realizing that He has wept over anything bad that has ever happened to you.  You were never really abandoned or forsaken.
• You realize that only person's approval that you truly need is your own.
• You realize that even though it doesn't always seem like it, you always have a choice.  Even not making a choice is choosing by default.
• You emotionally let completely go of "The One (or ones) That Got Away."  Given where you were in your life (and where they were) at the time, there's a high probability that it wouldn't have worked out anyway.  You accept this closure, heal your heart, and wish them well, knowing that all is right with the universe.
• You  realize that when someone is rude, closed off, dismissive, condescending, or whatever, that it's usually a pattern of behavior in their life that has very little to do with you, so you need not taken it so personally.
• At the same time, you don't always have to accept long suffering.  Sometimes it truly is okay to detach with love and decide you will no longer accept someone else's abusive behavior. 
• You realize and accept natural endings to things and you don't feel bad about it.  Sometimes a friendship, a work related situation, a church affiliation, or whatever it is, just needs to come to the end of its season.  Really, it's okay.  Don't put off the inevitable.  Then you can move on to some kind of perfection that truly does work for you and the other party involved.
• You can blog about your life and bore folks to tears.  It's awesome!