These days? Not so much. They can yell at people, sit inside of life-sized incubators for days at a time, neglect their children, and act like they're above the law. It doesn't really impress me much. They're just ordinary people who have extraordinary jobs.
The truth is, they're really not that much different than the rest of us, except that they're airbrushed to perfection, make a ton of money and live out the drama of their lives in the public eye instead of behind closed doors in suburbia. Unfortunately, for many of them, that doesn't always go spectacularly well.
Naturally, Charlie Sheen comes to mind, and I'm not sure what ticks me off the most about this train wreck. I really think Charlie Sheen is basically an aging playboy who thinks he's cooler than the rest of us. That's his goal, to set himself apart from us mere mortals. To me, it's outrageous, and the sound bites are really bad.
So let's break it down:
"I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars."
Keep telling yourself that, bucko. People may feel sorry for you because you because you're a total lunatic, and possibly mentally ill, but I'm not getting a feeling that you are inspiring much jealousy among the masses. It actually might be funny if it weren't so darn sad."You can't process me with a normal brain."
You got that right. Those of us who currently possess even a semi-normal brain are just not getting this.
"CBS picked a fight with a warlock."
Translation: How dare they fire me? (Who cares about the cast and crew and their families that are going without a paycheck? Oh, right. You've never lived paycheck to paycheck.)"C’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm."
Translation: Clearly I deserve $2 million dollars per episode. I'm getting warm now...really...I'm about to blow your mind with my talent and all of the interesting thoughts that come out of my mouth.Translation: Wow, I'm so freakin' cool. I can get two "goddesses" to live with me because I'm the best multi-million dollar meal ticket in town right now. (As long as the money is green, the chicks will line up around the mansion. That money might better serve you better in rehab).
“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ "It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”
Rest assured, dude. You are definitely from an extraterrestrial realm. "If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently."
According to many news reports, yes. Thanks for the warning. That's what they make domestic violence shelters for.“I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps."
Finally! We do have something in common. I love naps! Naps are so bitchin'!"I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: Go."
I bang 7 Diet Cokes a day. Take that, loser!“Look what I’m dealing with, man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls.”
How good of you to be so long suffering. It's definitely you putting up with fools and trolls, and not the other way around. If you're not careful though, you could wind up underneath a bridge with some real trolls and some lower class goddesses."The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”
If only this were true, if only this were true.I think I'll end it here. I think I've made my point. I hope Charlie Sheen gets some help, because he's *Definitely. * Not. *Winning.
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